i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
