I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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