I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
