i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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