im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
tell me about the fingering
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
