I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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