I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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