Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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