oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize