I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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