I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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