My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
