I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize