they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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