Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
