Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
