Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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