No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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