Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"

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  (570): my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth" http://tfl.nu/khrw
  Replies (19) Good night (3545) Bad night (994)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

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  (443): he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it http://tfl.nu/sa3y
  Replies (52) Good night (1511) Bad night (6335)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night

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  (715): sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night http://tfl.nu/ih63
  Replies (5) Good night (4700) Bad night (846)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like

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  (781): I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like http://tfl.nu/tc65
  Replies (6) Good night (3426) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.

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  (301): The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend. http://tfl.nu/xomb
  Replies (31) Good night (1204) Bad night (5174)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.

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  (209): There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them. http://tfl.nu/h2fg
  Replies (2) Good night (2760) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar

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  (605): you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar http://tfl.nu/3k40
  Replies (17) Good night (1565) Bad night (2775)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.

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  (952): You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning. http://tfl.nu/mwji
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1520)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.

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  (907): Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was. http://tfl.nu/9i4y
  Replies (3) Good night (1944) Bad night (616)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.

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  (847): Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am. http://tfl.nu/1jpl
  Replies (7) Good night (1059) Bad night (652)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?

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  (479): Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends? http://tfl.nu/q9dz
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.

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  (702): Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional. http://tfl.nu/j7mu
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (590)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams

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  (303): If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams http://tfl.nu/psml
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together

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  (585): Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together http://tfl.nu/31rb
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?

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  (402): What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again? http://tfl.nu/ibd9
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (272)

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