Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

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(253): View more from Washington

My mind says no, but my body says yes.

(703): View more from Virginia

What does your body say about chlamydia?

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(905): View more from Toronto

Cure to hiccups..road head..high five

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(847): View more from Illinois

i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad

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(316): View more from Kansas

Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.

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(845): View more from New York

There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.

(845): View more from New York

Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.

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(616): View more from Michigan

You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off

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