So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
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she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.