Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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(317): did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more http://tfl.nu/ndo9

Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (975)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

No. You're kidding.

(919): View more from North Carolina

I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.

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(919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth. http://tfl.nu/fp67

Replies (37) Good night (830) Bad night (1292)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.

(601): View more from Mississippi

Talk to you next week

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(731): I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period. (601): Talk to you next week http://tfl.nu/n6cb

Replies (29) Good night (987) Bad night (1899)
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(816): View more from Missouri

About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.

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(816): About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money. http://tfl.nu/foav

Replies (15) Good night (5019) Bad night (804)
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(206): View more from Washington

I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.

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(206): I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese. http://tfl.nu/0pie

Replies (13) Good night (4232) Bad night (973)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Hookers taste better with whip cream

(816): View more from Missouri

Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

(417): View more from Missouri

Fair enough

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(417): Hookers taste better with whip cream (816): Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too (417): Fair enough http://tfl.nu/svnz

Replies (45) Good night (4129) Bad night (1416)
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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(707): I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child. http://tfl.nu/d3n6

Replies (4) Good night (2984) Bad night (989)
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(631): View more from New York

Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

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(631): Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells? http://tfl.nu/xi2s

Replies (3) Good night (3543) Bad night (989)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

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(519): Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum. http://tfl.nu/qm4t

Replies (8) Good night (2295) Bad night (1189)
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(647): View more from Ontario

He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

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(647): He was the one that got away. From my vagina. http://tfl.nu/504c

Replies (8) Good night (1610) Bad night (655)
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(812): View more from Indiana

No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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(812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw

Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (588)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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(330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1

Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (590)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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(814): Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uh0q

Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (1254)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.

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(215): Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late. http://tfl.nu/c0zj

Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (739)
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(585): View more from New York

I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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(585): I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/qqo1

Replies (8) Good night (552) Bad night (420)

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