I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.