I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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