Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
