i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
