Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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