Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I puked a lego.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
