So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
