I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize