i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
