it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
