It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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