He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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