if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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