kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.