next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk Theyâ€™ve Ever Heard
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.