I could make wine with my vomit
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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