feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
