After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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