No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
