The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
