She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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