Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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