i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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