you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
