turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
