The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
