You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
