Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
pop tarts are not kleenex
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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