Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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