...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
