Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
