my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
vagina is talking i cant
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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