just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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