oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
