Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
