It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
