i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
