All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
