just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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