A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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