Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
