they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
